I had a phone interview for Mercy Housing yesterday. I stupidly thought, while setting up the interview, that the receptionist said Mercy Hospital, which I too applied for back in April. So what did I do? Researched that hospital like there was no tomorrow, only to be totally thrown off when I found out that was not at all what I was interviewing for. I used quick google skills to make up for my mistake and now, I really like the organization and hope I haven't flubbed everything up in the natural "Krystal Flubbing" way that I often do things.
Moving Right Along:
I became so down-trodden after making this mistake. I Little Debbie snack caked myself to death, resulting in a food coma, then a drunken night of vodka and poker with some friends. Resulting in a regrettable hook up and a lazy Friday. What is wrong with me? I feel like I could've handled that situation better, but I'm not going to lie; I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to make my next step to get to where I'm trying to get. And no one seems to understand where I'm coming from. I don't wanna take a year off, what does that even mean? I don't want to go back to Detroit. I don't want to do anything that's not getting me to my dream. I just wanna do what I wanna do and make myself happy. To me, success = happiness. And maybe I'm being a brat and everyone else is right. I guess I won't know until it's late July and I'm leaving Lansing and going somewhere. I really feel disconnected from everyone right now and I'm screwing up my whole re-Christian-ifying myself plan. It makes me wanna yell out Mercy!...Housing, not Hospital.
Success: Success is probably going to take patience. And it's your own individual journey that no one else can understand. You can share your dreams with others, but they don't know how bad you want it, or why you stress the way you do.
"I just wanna do what I wanna do and make myself happy."
ReplyDeleteThats what I've been doing.... thats what I've been trying to do.
Living with Kay and Kayla is making me happy.... i think. Sex too... that makes me happy.
But I guess doing guess doing what you have to do and doing what you want to do aren't always the same thing.
They really aren't the same thing, I guess. I would hope that at some point they meet in the middle. For instance, we have to work, but if one day we get they job we really want, we'll be doing both what we want/have to do. I know we'll get there at some point. Patience is the key.
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