The title: My lil uncle said this about me letting my grandma put gravy in Bloom's dry food. There really isn't anything wrong with that, it just added a lil flavor, he really liked it. At least I don't give him McDonald's anymore. He was in McNugget heaven at one point.
Moving Right Along: I have had the craziest emotional ride over the past two days. I was so down and discouraged yesterday, I started asking God some crazy questions, respectfully of course. I read an article about how we pretty much can't control our lives (partially true) so we might as well just trust God and take it all in stride. It seemed to be saying, life is full of suffering, and you can't have anything you want so get over it.
Okay, I totally understand that when you invite God to guide you, your life in no longer your own, but I don't believe God would want you to not have any hopes and dreams while on this earth. Yes, my ultimate goal ought to be to live a good Christ-driven life to one day be in heaven, but what about other goals. I'm still finding an answer to this, but I do understand that God will give you your hearts desires if they are not corrupt. It doesn't necessarily happen the way we may want it to or the way we expect it to, but He didn't give us these dreams and ambitions if He didn't want us to do something with them. (i.e, why would you feel soooo driven to be a doctor, teacher, or comedian if it wasn't instilled in you from God?)
I was a little angry with God, something I try never to be, but sometimes when you don't understand how He's working things in your life, it can really get to you, ya dig? So I went to sleep last night, angry, refusing to read my bible. I had this crazy dream. It was me and three other people. We were at the bottom of a rocket, where the actual fire comes out of the space shuttle. We weren't positioned where we could actually get burned, we were in a compartment that would feel the heat. As the shuttle started taking off we kept trying to jump so our feet wouldn't touch the hot floor, but every time we landed, we'd feel that horrible burning. We were all screaming. And of course I woke up.
What I gathered from that dream was, "You don't wanna go to hell, it's hot there and you can't escape the heat". That revelation scared me, but I told God, "I don't want to follow you out of fear, I want to follow you out of love". With that, I continued on to be in depressed day #2. I tried to read my bible using my bible phone app, but nothing seemed to work. So I lied down to take yet another nap and I prayed that God would help me stop feeling like this. This is when God showed me His love. I woke up a different person. I acknowledged my blessings and saw something very particular in what He has taught me this week, which is....
I've always wanted to help people and be a philanthropist, but I always wanted to do it my way. Right now I'm picking up my cousins from school everyday, which is a task, 35 minutes there, 15 to their house, and then another 30 back home. I tried not to show it, but I was not pleased with this task. Mostly because it takes so long and the traffic is so heavy at that time. I was getting stress headaches. But when I was woke up from my nap, I realized God was giving me a chance to help people. It wasn't in the grand, save a starving country way, but it was helping family. And if I couldn't learn to help my own family and do it cheerfully, then I would never be able to help strangers. This life is about baby-steps.
Moving Right Along: I have had the craziest emotional ride over the past two days. I was so down and discouraged yesterday, I started asking God some crazy questions, respectfully of course. I read an article about how we pretty much can't control our lives (partially true) so we might as well just trust God and take it all in stride. It seemed to be saying, life is full of suffering, and you can't have anything you want so get over it.
Okay, I totally understand that when you invite God to guide you, your life in no longer your own, but I don't believe God would want you to not have any hopes and dreams while on this earth. Yes, my ultimate goal ought to be to live a good Christ-driven life to one day be in heaven, but what about other goals. I'm still finding an answer to this, but I do understand that God will give you your hearts desires if they are not corrupt. It doesn't necessarily happen the way we may want it to or the way we expect it to, but He didn't give us these dreams and ambitions if He didn't want us to do something with them. (i.e, why would you feel soooo driven to be a doctor, teacher, or comedian if it wasn't instilled in you from God?)
I was a little angry with God, something I try never to be, but sometimes when you don't understand how He's working things in your life, it can really get to you, ya dig? So I went to sleep last night, angry, refusing to read my bible. I had this crazy dream. It was me and three other people. We were at the bottom of a rocket, where the actual fire comes out of the space shuttle. We weren't positioned where we could actually get burned, we were in a compartment that would feel the heat. As the shuttle started taking off we kept trying to jump so our feet wouldn't touch the hot floor, but every time we landed, we'd feel that horrible burning. We were all screaming. And of course I woke up.
What I gathered from that dream was, "You don't wanna go to hell, it's hot there and you can't escape the heat". That revelation scared me, but I told God, "I don't want to follow you out of fear, I want to follow you out of love". With that, I continued on to be in depressed day #2. I tried to read my bible using my bible phone app, but nothing seemed to work. So I lied down to take yet another nap and I prayed that God would help me stop feeling like this. This is when God showed me His love. I woke up a different person. I acknowledged my blessings and saw something very particular in what He has taught me this week, which is....
I've always wanted to help people and be a philanthropist, but I always wanted to do it my way. Right now I'm picking up my cousins from school everyday, which is a task, 35 minutes there, 15 to their house, and then another 30 back home. I tried not to show it, but I was not pleased with this task. Mostly because it takes so long and the traffic is so heavy at that time. I was getting stress headaches. But when I was woke up from my nap, I realized God was giving me a chance to help people. It wasn't in the grand, save a starving country way, but it was helping family. And if I couldn't learn to help my own family and do it cheerfully, then I would never be able to help strangers. This life is about baby-steps.
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