13- Build A Bear, Where Best Friends Are Made

The title: Build-a-Bear really is where best friends are made. I just got a teddy bear that kinda resembles me and we are awesome together.

Moving Right Along- Wait on the Lord. I hear this sooo much. I'm not a patient person. I have the worst patience in all of "Impatience Land", a city that doesn't exist, because the citizens couldn't wait on the paper work to go through. I'm waiting to hear back from this job. I did the proper "thank you letter" a week after the interview and once two weeks rolls around I will be calling to do a follow-up. I don't know why I'm fretting, really. I guess I just have an idea in my mind of how life is supposed to work and it doesn't. It never unfolds the way I think it will. Does this mean I should no longer have expectations? Maybe I should just set my expectations to a more realistic setting. Something like your imagination has one outcome, but welcome whatever outcome you get, because that's exactly how things should go anyway.

In other news, I've been reading this book "What To Do Until Love Finds You". It's a well-written book, I could do without the poems, but other than that, it's a great guide for Christian women looking to build a lasting Christ-based relationship with their potential mate. But.....

Yep, there's always buts with me, it's just the stage I'm in. I don't understand. The author, and yes, she's probably an amazing person, is in her 50's. She is still patiently waiting for her life partner. Did she ever want kids, I wonder. So many of the devout Christian women I know are single. I'm not looking to get married anytime soon. I like being young and free, etc. But I do want to know that when I get to that point, my beliefs won't leave me single at 60. I totally believe that God will introduce us to our soul mates, but then, there's the whole thing of how men have to be the pursuer and women aren't supposed to, well when I like a guy, I sit there in my cute jewelry and meticulously picked out top, but I don't know if he'll actually get what I'm trying to say. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't sit in the background thinking "pick me". And yet I meet another crossroad with Christianity. So he picks me...well did I pick him back? Do I even want him. Why can't I pick? I just don't get it.

I may not understand this for a while, but I plan to talk to my first lady about it. But really I shouldn't care, because I've got a lot of self work to do. I can't imagine dating anyone right now with all the self-construction going on inside of me.